16.10-Permission – a necessary quality in therapy

I would like to share thoughts that accumulated into a new book The Book of Permission. I now understand better the therapist’s growth through the lens of Permission. I believe this perspective can be adjusted to any medium, and it will also accompany you in any relationship, not only in therapy.  It is about being human. Essentially, permission is an experience between two people or parts of oneself characterized by allowing, acceptance, and belonging. A subtle question—Am I allowed to be who I am?—is answered with permission, which creates and permeates the mutual affinity. One’s feelings shift from uncertainty and hesitation to a sense of belonging, from aloneness to relatedness. Anxiety becomes ease. A circle closes.
Permission is not static; it is not a rigid or permanent aspect of relationship between two people. Whereas the experience originates in a baby and mother relationship, later in our lives, it can be experienced with our partners, a therapist, teacher, or a friend who can momentarily take the position of the “older” one who sees a wider view.  I will shortly share how it is developed from imitation by the baby and how empathy and compassion develop as they all become qualities of Permission. I will give examples from art therapy.

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